Mikes Thoughts

to today

I think it was over a year ago when we were living in the bigger house. My wife remarked one morning I had lost weight. To be honest, it never really hit me and I never noticed. She was delighted and told friends and family my success. I had no idea where I started from so no idea where I’ve ended. What I do know is I feel different. Some say I look different. A onetime friend told his story once of a drastic weight loss he did by basically starving himself and then managing it all on a spreadsheet. This sounded a bit like hell to me. Like a sentence to forever be managed by an excel spreadsheet with calories in and out. I also felt he never looked particularly happy. It seemed he looked haunted and uncomfortable in his own skin.

Perhaps there was a fat guy in there forever scratching and pushing to exit. I could almost hear that inner person saying,

just one more cheeseburger and shake. Then I will obey excel.

I never could figure how someone would feel happy or having achieved a thing when the specter always was there. Right behind the plate of fries or ice cream. Taunting. Finger pointing.

My daughter bought a scale much later. It did not make sense to weigh myself. I did not know what to expect. Would I feel good? Bad? Nothing? She was very curious. So I did the weighing thing. Since I had no idea where I started the point I was at really meant little. But she was delighted.

Then a waiter at viva! where I go to drink sometimes told me I looked very good. Another at Sister Srey restaurant was very happy for me. I guess after this almost 2 years of doing actually nothing I knew I had done something.

What I learned.

  1. I lost whatever weight by simply doing the things I loved. Eating my wife’s food. Limiting drinking. Walking each day no matter how crappy I felt. I believe the yoga and meditation helped in many ways too.
  2. I never measured so success seemed even more marked. Like without the constant measurement and the concomitant stress I had done much better. It was more natural and easy. I never held myself up against an ideal or a plan.
  3. I will never be fat again. I don’t need a spreadsheet with formulae and calculations to tell me. I just know. This is the me now.

My once friend will forever be on his guard. Too much this. Not enough that. To me, it’s no way to live a life. We have enough of the management and failure and challenge with work and family.

could you do this?

I have no idea what I did so if you want to I think so as long as you don’t take yourself too seriously. Be gentle. Kind to yourself. Don’t punish. Find the way to just be the best you can be. Some days I will eat more ice cream. Or have more cookies. Or some potato chips. I just eat how I please and the food is my greatest love. Not my worst enemy.

So you can do it but don’t judge. It was the walking and the food and the less drinking. Most of all though it was just me. From about 250 to about 165. A ballooning waist and tummy to how I am now. And I feel better. My daughter says I am handsome. She’s very proud of me. My wife is just delighted and will remark to friends and family how I have changed.

This has felt good to get down here. A story about a thing done and not even realizing it. That perhaps is the greatest satisfaction.

Give it some thought.