frugal and me
Some time ago I met this person via YouTube. He has this channel where he documents his daily life in Siem Reap. I found it refreshing and authentic. He takes it both seriously and with some humor. Both moods create content which pokes at some on the platform that will write the “what I did” or “five reasons I live” things. Siem Reap is a nice city to live in but one of the shadowy things is its hard to meet other expats that maybe share interests or even don’t. I’m not the expat bubble type or the going native. I want to carve out this little place of neither.
So I have tried to stay respectfully distant from interactions with most Khmer and barang people. I do listen to this voice inside which advises me. Perhaps like what a famous poet said once,
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
source: Maya Angelo
For me I just listen the first time. Some people I have veered away from because of how I felt after a single interaction. Others I gave some time to. I have done far better when I heeded believing the first time.
With frugal I found this person who has found his space here. His life that revolves around his desire to simply live in peace here. To find what life has to offer or make his own. He will find work here. He will thrive. No one only gets that though. We all face both good and bad. So this writing tries to bridge the gap. From a journal I write every day to a few words I wish to say. There’s no real point for me to write all good or bad things here. Life gives and takes and could give a shit less.
Others came and went
Before meeting frugal I found my share of people. Some were one time things. Others wanted only a person to listen. So I just would venture out less often. My wife prefers me not drinking too much but she also understands I need to be able to go. She will always feel she is dedicated to me. To giving me the best she can.
I guess I am not such a good person back sometimes. She has to deal with someone that says what they think. Shows how they feel.
I mention all this so you can see sometimes barang life here includes baggage. We carry it along and at some points it weighs us down and we have no one to tell it to. I then talk to my daughter here. She listens and talks and tells me what she thinks. She is the most non Khmer Khmer person I have ever met. Talks her feelings. Speaks her thoughts.
Then frugal came along. I felt from the first coffee if we decided mutually we could have a better relationship. Both of us have what we want. Neither of us are expat bubble types or wanting Khmer assimilation. We just want to live next to all the things.
Of course all this makes it to my blog from the journal. It’s a next step to things. Just like I will continue on this after Tuesday when we meet for coffee again.
After coffee thoughts
Well maybe a few different times out for coffee. A few mornings of walking to some coffee place or other and enjoying just the time of it. Admittedly away from the house. On Sunday, it was La Latte coffee and I loved the change the owner made to bring back the comfy couch there. The lovely young female barista brought out a warm tea to me along with the iced americano. Today it was walking with some thoughts and then the coffee time and those thoughts. I was glad today to just clear out of the house and the different moods and issues people have with other people. Leaving for coffee means I get to renegotiate things. Redo how I feel about the different family dramas and issues. Coffee is a release of thoughts, words, dreams. It gives me a time alone but yet able to watch the other folks drinking and talking. No one ever bothers me at the Khmer coffee places. I am left to do just as I wish. It makes the entire coffee thing nicer and more personal.
I have the desire to go find new places of which there must be many. Wat Bo alone has so many places I could just go do but yet when I decide to avail myself of the going, I end up at a place I enjoy and realize its both laziness and desire. Like perhaps a visit to Redsoil which is this nice little place with AC and good wifi. I tend to go there when I want more time for the thoughts and writing. There are the regulars there and I can sit and hear their Facebook messengers and their tiktoks. Silently so thankful I don’t do those things.
In a few days I see frugal again for coffee. The pace is perfect and the places varied. It makes coffee thoughts and times much better.
tomorrow and the next and next and next...
There’s today and then what happens next. I try to just take the days as they are. Some are good. Others seem destined for argument and disagreement. I fear the next days because I will have to tell my wife I don’t wish to go to Phnom Koulen with them in a car. I would much rather go to Saigon for days. There are the why reasons I won’t bore you with. It just how I feel being put in a car for 5 hours with numerous Cambodian people. Some I really don’t care much for. So it becomes kind of a thing when I have to be locked into a car with them. It’s not the forever talking in Khmer. I’m used to that. I guess mostly it is doing what I would rather do. A thing that would bring happiness. I want to go see my friends Tom and Lily in Saigon. Walk that city. Be back there even for days.
All of this comes wandering down my thoughts on another day. I had decided I would post this on the blog Tuesday for some reason so I dated it then. There is no real reason other than just wanting to write on it as the ideas come and go. It is also the day I am supposed to see frugal again for coffee. It’s a walk there for me. I think have been by the place a few times. Just never gone. So it’s Monday now. I will let this percolate until I decide tomorrow to post it.
On to Ur Cafe.
It’s a beautiful day to be doing morning coffee. Sun shining. Warm. This place is just perfect for both watching people and being alone. It’s funny when I go out Khmer people never disturb me. It’s at the house. There it’s like normal guardrails are removed and people can do as they wish. Today kinda lazy just doing this. I hate missing walks each day.
Gonna go on some other walk besides the one I thought of leaving. On to whatever.
I watched frugal’s vlog about eating and walking. He posts every morning early. So now I kinda wake up watching him from a few days before. I love the food vlogs. Life is all about food here. It makes me want some of that back. We don’t do the very basic things he does. Things have changed here for the worse and they just continue.
Tuesday and then some
We could not meet today for coffee. Other plans. So I will head out for some coffee later in the morning and finish this up I guess. I don’t have some end goal in sight when I write. It’s just some place where I decide to stop.
Works for me. See you for coffee out and a walk. A final stop and some words. Coffee at the little coffee shack down some street. Less than $1 for a iced coffee. And I can sit and observe.
