Mikes Thoughts

being back

We got back Saturday. It seemed this time we did these few things and a lot of the time was spent going. The house seems as it ever is. I felt this desire to just go this time. To not return after 3 days to the things there. I guess to get back the sense of not finishing the going. I miss that. I took an entire year in 2019 with no real plan. I changed things as often as I did them. By December then I found myself in Manila. I lasted about 5 days there and just about Christmas I bailed to Kuala Lumpur with no real plan. I spent a week there I think. Then I missed Vietnam so I went there. Went to see a friend in Saigon. From there a sojourn to America to see my daughter and do the dream Amtrak voyage across the United States in a sleeper.

I had this plan and many places to go see after but life got in the way. I had booked flights to Egypt, turkey, Morocco and Dubai. I’d go for months. Sail the River Nile. Do these things the archeologist in me dreamt of.

None of that happened. A global pandemic was in the offing. So I flew to Hanoi instead. I would stay there almost two years. It became this home thing to me I have never shaken.

Now back

Sitting with coffee. Writing. Feeling still not like I’m back. Feel vaguely uncomfortable and distressed and moody. Yeah. Normal old retired guy me.

So sitting with Lalatte and I find my moments slowly drifting back. I get my days to do coffee. Not bothered with social events or people I am supposed to want to meet.

I’ll walk today and go toward nothing. Just like in all the years when I had the “no plan plan”. I always knew then I had Vietnam. I could just go. See a friend in Can Tho. Pho in Hanoi. Whatever. Now I just feel listless going. Like I can do this. The writing rolls on. The steps seem to want to take me away.

I’ll just take the different walk and end where I do. Much like this blog post.